George W. Bush
!! Yayy! ]] George W Bush claims to be the current President of the United States. This claim is open to dispute, as he was not elected in 2000, but appointed by the Supreme Court, and after 2004 delegated all of his Presidential powers to Vice President Richard Cheney. Etymology Bush's name derives from the Latin word bush (note the little "b"), itself derived from the Anglo-Saxon word for vagina. He is a historic disgrace to the oval office and a traitor to the American constitution, he claims to be of high moral standards but is killing Americans daily only because he lacks the courage to admit he was and is wrong. He was sitting in a chair reading a children's book for 9 minutes after he was informed of the 911 attacks. Some say it was lack of leadership and understanding, personally after hearing all of the child molesting and homosexuality in the republican ranks, I believe the reason he sat there so long is because he was a republican man in a room full of children and the cameras came in on him as he was mentally masturbating and it would have been devastating to the GOP to see bush stand up in the classroom with a small but noticeable erection. He thus has a small penis. He is a douchebag. Fuck him. Facts about George W. Bush *George W Bush was once overheard in a bar ordering a Mike's Hard Lemonade as a favor for God, his father. *George W Bush believes in Christianity, unlike those devil worshiping liberals *George W Bush's favorite film is The Care Bears Movie *George W Bush counted to infinity. Twice. *George W Bush wishes he was an astronaut instead. *George W Bush can bench 430 lbs. But says, "One conservative bench press is equal to 430 liberals. Heh Heh. Narf." *George W Bush's favorite TV show is anything on Fox. *George W Bush is incapable of pronouncing the words "nuclear" and "terror." Instead, he says "nucular" and something that sounds like "tuhr." *George W Bush love you long time. *The letters in George W Bush's name can be rearranged to spell "Liberals Die" *George W Bush is a puppet of the New World Order. *George W Bush hates children with cancer. *George W Bush has gills as well as lungs, allowing him to breathe underwater. *George W Bush has lysdexia. *George W Bush had reading contests with Karl Rove. On the Sunday after he resigned, ol' Turdblossom made the rounds of the Sunday morning talk shows and said, with a straight face, that GW had already read almost 100 books in the year 2007. (Did Dr. Seuss write that many books?) *George W Bush's favorite band is Hansen. *George W Bush has personally stopped 37,454,217,888 terrorist attacks since last Thursday *George W Bush is Dick Cheney's boss. No really he is. Honest. I swear... Bushisms Mr bush is also well known for his flawless command of the English language. (not) List of Bushisms "You know, a trucker, if he's interested in moving through Northwest Arkansas in expedition fashion, will pay a little extra money to be able to do so."—explaining how toll roads can generate funds for highway maintenance while helping motorists move quickly, Rogers, Ark., Oct., 15, 2007 "I got a lot of Ph.D.-types and smart people around me who come into the Oval Office and say, 'Mr. President, here's what's on my mind.' And I listen carefully to their advice. But having gathered the device, I decide, you know, I say, 'This is what we're going to do.' "— Lancaster, Pa., Oct. 3, 2007 "As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured."—New York, Sept. 26, 2007 "I'm going to try to see if I can remember as much to make it sound like I'm smart on the subject."—answering a question concerning a possible flu pandemic, Cleveland, July 10, 2007 "These are big achievements for this country, and the people of Bulgaria ought to be proud of the achievements that they have achieved."—Sofia, Bulgaria, June 11, 2007 Wisdom and strength, and my family, is what I'd like for you to pray for."—Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007 (Why would we want to do that? They have done nothing but mess up our country) "Information is moving—you know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets."—Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007 I fully understand those who say you can't win this thing militarily. That's exactly what the United States military says, that you can't win this military." --George W. Bush, on the need for political progress in Iraq, Washington, D.C., Oct. 17, 2007 Sea also Bushism Category:People